Podcast EP 62
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[00:00:00] When you start trying to conceive, you are bombarded with advice. I mean, you're getting advice from your friends, your mama, your auntie, random strangers. You're getting advice from TikTok, Instagram, Google, all in a desperate need to bring your baby home. But what if I told you some of that advice is completely wrong?
In today's video, we're gonna dive into fertility myths. What's true, what's not, and what actually works, and most importantly, some of the things that your doctor doesn't tell you that you really do need to know. Let's dive in.
Hi, I'm Sophie Byfield and when I decided I was ready to be a mama, I thought it would be so easy. Get off birth control. Baby dance, like no one's watching. And poof, I was pregnant. But like many of you, that wasn't my story. After months of negative tests, endless treatments, and more supplements than you can count, I realized that getting pregnant isn't about fixing one piece of your fertility puzzle. It's about bringing your whole body. Back into balance so it feels safe enough to conceive. And this is where we focus on what really matters. Healing your whole body so that you can see those two pink lines. Welcome to the Heal to Conceive podcast.
When I was on my trying to conceive journey, I didn't tell anybody I was trying to conceive. A lot of people would come up to me and say, aren't you gonna give that man a baby? Or are you guys gonna have kids? And I would [00:01:00] say things like, maybe in the future, we're not trying right now, we wanna spend some time together.
But all of those statements were really a, a way of protecting myself from the fact that we were trying and it wasn't happening. And many people out there have the best of intentions, but sometimes those statements cut a little bit deeper. But what I have found is that there's so many fertility myths out there that can keep you stuck on this journey if you are believing them.
So let's dive into my top seven myths that I wanna debunk. And these are things that your Dr. May not tell you and in some cases actually hold against you. Myth number one is infertility is a woman's problem. Cis, I can't tell you how many times. I have been told that we didn't do a semen [00:02:00] analysis or the doctor didn't wanna test my male partner because it was the female's age issue, weight, why they were not getting pregnant.
I can think of a client that I'm working with right now, and the first year of her trying to conceive journey, when she was visiting the fertility doctor, he kept saying, it's your age. It's your a MH. It's your weight while you're not getting pregnant. Lo and behold, when she finally advocated for herself and got a semen analysis done, we learned that the problem was actually the semen.
The swimmers weren't strong enough. And until we had gotten that notification, she was feeling beat up, devastated, hurt, because she couldn't figure out what she was doing wrong. This myth have left people on this journey further way longer than they needed to be because if we start [00:03:00] looking at the health of the sperm, we can start getting pregnant faster.
It's 50% of the equation. So to debunk myth number one, we wanna make sure we are testing both partners so we can see what is happening and how to move forward. It is 50% sperm and 50% egg in order to conceive. Myth number two is if you just relax, you'll get pregnant. Sis. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard that one.
If you just stop thinking about it, you'll get pregnant. If you just relax, you'll get pregnant. Ooh, that one makes my skin crawl, because there's so much more to reproduction than just relaxing. You see? Yes. When you are stressed out or have high stress, it does play a role on your lining and your ability to [00:04:00] conceive.
It really throws all of your hormones off. But just relaxing and just not thinking about it isn't gonna be the thing that fixes everything to make you magically get pregnant. So what do you do instead? Instead of feeling stressed about not getting pregnant or being on this journey, think about healing moments, gentle moments, and things that you can do to honor your body on this journey.
Yes, stress does play a role in fertility, and you can check out my video here on stress and fertility, but it's not everything. Myth number three is that you can't get pregnant after 35, or your fertility completely declines after 35, and you're gonna drop off a hill and die. Listen, listen. I hate this myth.
It causes so much unnecessary stress on women when they're getting older. So much [00:05:00] unnecessary stress. And to debunk this one, your girl got pregnant at 39 and delivered at 40, and there's so many women who are getting pregnant older who are caring to term older. Now, does your fertility change? Yes, but it's not like a light switch where all of a sudden you're 35 and everything shuts off, but your body does start to decline.
We are born with all of the eggs that we are ever going to have. And if you think about an egg basket, everything at the top is gonna be pristine. It doesn't have as much pressure, it hasn't lived as much life, but things that come down towards the bottom of the bar, uh, barrel or the bottom of the basket need a bit more love.
And that looks like egg quality supplements. That looks like yoga, that looks like a healthy diet. But it's not like we turn 35 and then all of a sudden the basket is empty. [00:06:00] So what do you need to do? If you're over 35 and you've been trying for six months, visit your fertility specialist and get a full workup to truly understand where you are right now.
That picture of your body will tell you where to go next. Now, if you're over 35, 1 of the tests that you wanna get done is your A MH. Your A MH tells you how close you are to menopause, but you don't wanna look at the test in a vacuum. We wanna look at your A MH, your A FC, and your FSH together to determine kind of where we stand right now.
If you wanna learn more about that testing, jump into this video right here and it will dive deep into a MH and all of that. And now we move on to myth number four, which is a healthy lifestyle guarantees pregnancy. This one hit me hard. [00:07:00] This one hit me hard. If I found the perfect fertility diet and I did the perfect fertility workout and I made sure I took all of my supplements and I tested and I tapped and I went to bed and I got all my sleep and I de-stressed, if I was doing everything right, why wasn't I still getting pregnant?
While all of those things are super important and play a role, that may not be the thing that is holding you back. This is one of the things that slapped me in my face and I teach to the ladies inside my world, inside my community. The truth is being healthy is so important, but it's not the whole picture and the whole story.
Things like hormone imbalances, inflammation, gut health, all of these things, the health of your lining, your progesterone all play a significant role in your ability to conceive. So myth [00:08:00] number five is definitely R rated. The myth is that certain positions will help you get pregnant. I remember being told by my grandma, if I just put my legs in the air afterwards, it's gonna work.
Listen, the sperm is an overachiever and it's gonna do everything it needs to do to get to its destination. It's their main goal. So you lying there with your legs in the air or only being on top or whatever, the case isn't necessarily going to help the situation. It can make things fun to try new things, but it doesn't guarantee you're going to get pregnant.
So if you are putting your legs in the air afterwards or making sure you're lying down or whatever is out there, you don't necessarily have to do that. The sperm reaches the cervix within seconds, so it's [00:09:00] already inside. And number six is that alternative treatments don't work. Things like acupuncture or herbal medicine have been known to help women get pregnant.
Acupuncture decreases stress, brings blood flow to the uterus. Certain herbal remedies can help with hormone imbalances, can help with bloating, increase blood flow to the uterus. These approaches are complimentary to your journey, not the main event. Always check with your doctor or your fertility coach before you start adding new supplements or horrible remedies to your journey.
'cause it can throw off the balance of either other medicine or other supplements you are taking. And myth number seven is a big one. The myth is if you've had a baby before. You won't struggle to conceive the next time. I've had so many women come to me and the [00:10:00] doctor say, you already have a child, so it's gonna be easy the next time around.
And it's years, it's months. It's way more time than they want it to be before they see those two pink. This one literally breaks my heart because secondary infertility is a real thing, and you don't deserve any less support because you've already had a child. When you have a child, it literally rewrites your body.
They suck the life from you in order to grow. And sometimes it can be a little bit harder for your body to rebalance in order to bring your baby home the next time. Secondary infertility is way more common than most people realize. And if this is your reality, I want you to know that you're not alone, you're not broken, and this is a really real thing that you were going through and you deserve to be [00:11:00] honored in that space.
Please do not feel guilty that you already have a child. So you shouldn't be upset or heartbroken because you're struggling to have another one. Those are very real feelings and very real experiences. So there you have it, the seven big fertility myths officially debunked. Now, I want you to know that infertility is a medical condition and I want you to be gentle with yourself.
This journey is hard. You are being bombarded with information from multiple sources. Listen to your body, trust your intuition, and get the testing to know what is right for you. So let me know in the comments below, which one of these myths have you experienced? Have you heard from your doctor? And which one are you ready to let go of?
As always, you've got this. You're going [00:12:00] to bring your baby home. When you don't got this, I got you. Baby. Dust for all.
