Podcast EP 61
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[00:00:00] So lately inside the Heel to conceive community, we've been talking a lot about the fertility, emotional rollercoaster. That feeling of being stuck, of trying everything and it not working, or even that fear to hope again, maybe you've decided to take a fertility break, maybe you've to put things down and it's still not alleviating some of the stress and the heartache.
In today's episode, we're gonna talk about that feeling of being stuck, how to know what to do next, and living in that in-between, on not giving up on your dreams, but just feeling completely and totally overwhelmed with the whole entire thing. If that's how you are feeling right now, I want you to know that I got you.
I want you to know that you are not alone. There's many of us who have experienced this and have gone through this on the journey, and it's okay to [00:01:00] feel everything that you are experiencing. Let's dive in.
Hi, I'm Sophie Byfield and when I decided I was ready to be a mama, I thought it would be so easy. Get off birth control. Baby dance, like no one's watching. And poof, I was pregnant. But like many of you, that wasn't my story. After months of negative tests, endless treatments, and more supplements than you can count, I realized that getting pregnant isn't about fixing one piece of your fertility puzzle. It's about bringing your whole body. Back into balance so it feels safe enough to conceive. And this is where we focus on what really matters. Healing your whole body so that you can see those two pink lines. Welcome to the Heal to Conceive podcast.
Now, I don't know if this happened to you, but on my fraternity journey, I thought it was going to be easy. I honestly, did people get pregnant by mistake all the time? Why would it be hard for me to get pregnant? I was healthy. I got a period, everything was fine. But what I didn't know is that you only have a 25% chance any given cycle to actually get pregnant when you're absolutely healthy and there's nothing else going on with your body.
25%. 75% of people don't get pregnant any given cycle, even when conditions are perfect. And then when you add a few more challenges, a few more [00:02:00] issues, maybe you're getting older, maybe you have fibroids, maybe you have PCOS. Any given cycle can be a lot harder, but when you're trying cycle after cycle, month after month.
It's not working. It can start to beat you down. You can start to lose hope. You can start to feel like you're failing. You can believe that you're never gonna become a mom. And lately, inside my community on our Thursday night, ask me anything, sessions, this is what we've been talking about. How do you keep going when you feel beaten down?
How do you keep moving the needle forward when you are just heartbroken month after month? How do you, not try but keep trying, but not give up on your dream, but keep fighting for it. How do you not continue to live in the darkness when there's so much light? [00:03:00] It's hard. This whole journey, this whole experience, everything about it is so hard.
The very first thing I want you to do is acknowledge that and grieve the life that you thought you were gonna have. See, for many of us, myself included, I thought it was gonna be easy. Get pregnant. Two years later, we have another kid, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. Keep going. Family of four's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be great.
But that wasn't my story. And because it took over four and a half years of trying. I didn't know if I wanted to have another kid, and I had to grieve that process. I had to grieve that the way that I had planned my life to be and for it to look wasn't the way that it was. And by taking the first step of acknowledging and grieving, [00:04:00] you can really look at where you are today and help to make decisions moving forward.
A lot of my personal trying to conceive journey and a lot of my client's trying to conceive journey has been in this space of fear that it's never gonna happen because the evidence has proven to us that, hey, this is a lot harder than we thought it was gonna be. And everything I've tried has not worked.
So step number two is really looking at, have you been making decisions about your fertility journey and where you're going from that place of fear? I know I did. I know for a lot of times it was me spending hours researching and Googling and reading and doing everything I can and trying everything I can to get pregnant.
Even though I knew it wasn't going to work, [00:05:00] or I had some idea that it wasn't the right thing for me just because I was moving from a place of fear and desperation. You see, when you want something so bad that your heart calls to it, it can really make it well, you know, heartbreaking, devastating. Ugly crying.
It can do all of that because you're not getting it. And then sprinkle on someone else in your life getting pregnant. And sis we're eating pints of ice cream. So really taking a moment to look at decisions that you have made to see if they're coming from a place of hope this is gonna happen, or fear that this isn't gonna happen.
And slowly look at making that slight change. Moving into possibility will help you make [00:06:00] clear decisions for your next steps. The next thing I want you to do is really lean into community and support because going through this journey alone, sis, is something fierce. Having a community of people that know what you're feeling and experiencing that you can lean on, can really help you get through the dark days.
And step number three is changing your strategy and approach to getting pregnant. We are not taught how to get pregnant. We are taught how to avoid pregnancy. For your next step, I want you to look at your whole entire body and see if there's any imbalances or inconsistencies that we are missing that have nothing to do with reproduction.
It could be your gut health, it could be your thyroid, [00:07:00] it could be your blood sugar. It could be your diet, it could be you're over exercising, you're under exercising. There's so many different things that affect your body, which in turn affect your reproduction, and that was the hardest thing for me to learn.
It's not that I didn't know that your body systems all worked together, but I thought if I just super focused on my reproduction, I would make it happen because I was doing everything perfectly. What I didn't realize at the time was that my nutrition, I was over exercising, my stress was out of control, and all of those things were impacting my ability to implant.
So understanding what your lifestyle is doing to your body, understanding your cycle, and your timing and your tracking is gonna create this beautiful equilibrium of next steps so that we can heal to conceive. Step number four, [00:08:00] and the most important thing that I want you to know on this journey is that it's not always about doing more.
It's not about finding more supplements. It's not about tracking more. It's not about doing the baby dance even more. It is about tuning in and listening, truly listening to what your body needs next. Now if you need help with that and you're not sure where to start, don't worry. I got you. Drop into the description box below and take my quiz where we dive into finding your fertility blind spot and navigating what you should do next from that information.
'cause your body is uniquely yours and what is out there isn't necessarily gonna work for your situation. I. So let's tap into what is going on with you so [00:09:00] that we can bring your baby home. And as always, I want you to know that you got this. This journey is hard, AF sis, it's so hard. But I promise you on the other side is your miracle.
If we can start to unravel the pieces through your grief. Through your journaling, through understanding your body and understanding that we do not work in a vacuum, we can get to your next step to get you your two pink ones. You've got this, and when you don't got this, I got you. Baby. Dust for all.
